May is National Biking Month!

The weather is nice, your tires are pumped, and you’re ready to enjoy the city that is suddenly so green and inviting. Then, the inevitable the horrible the unthinkable the most annoying thing it happens. You hear “Hey faggot!” or “Pump those legs, girl” or “You’re not fast enough for me.”  Or they honk a horn and startle you (newsflash: that is dangerous!) or reach an arm out and try to cop a feel.

WE ALL DESERVE TO RIDE A BIKE IN PEACE. So let Baltimore street harassers know they need to leave bikers alone by sharing your story. Let them know you will holla back, and teach bystanders to take it more seriously. Tell your story.

And before we hate on Bmore too much, here’s an excerpt from a biking story from our sister site in Brussels, Belgium, because people love bikes and hate street harassment EVERYWHERE. Read Angelika’s story:

One day, I was on my way back from university. I was riding my bike, it was perhaps 6:30 pm. I rode on the cycleway when I noticed a group of men on the sidewalk nearby, roughly 200 metres away. Suddenly, one of them stepped on the cycleway and spread his arms. He clearly wanted to stop me from continuing my ride. I accelerated. The same thing (but with a single, drunk man) had happened to me the day before, and finally the man had stepped out of my way. But this one wouldn’t – he stood there, laughing, his friends applauding him. I had thought he might move in the last second – he didn’t. And so I bumped into him. I didn’t fall down, but I suddenly felt the anger welling up in me. This was the second time this happened to me in two days. Just because some “men” thought it was funny to stop me from cycling, just for the sake of doing it, just in order to make me feel weak, for getting the approval of their mates and showing me who was the boss on the street. I was furious. And I didn’t even think much about it – I just started yelling, loudly – and in German. I had had the experience before that I felt even weaker when I tried to argue with harassers in French, because this is not my mother tongue. So I just fell back upon my native German, which, in the first place already sounds a bit aggressive – and secondly I could say whatever I wanted to, because anyway no one would understand. So I stood there, shouting, screaming, not even thinking about what I was saying. I felt nothing but anger. First they tried to mock at me, but I concentrated on the one who had stood in my way. He yelled back, but I didn’t even listen. I just kept going. And after some time (I wouldn’t be able to say how long it took) – he stopped. He looked at me. I must have had the must furious expression one can imagine. What I saw in his eyes was – fear.

I got on my bike and rode home. Some men mumbled at me something I didn’t understand when I drove past them on my way – clearly they had heard me shouting and perhaps wanted to “punish” me for doing so. I just responded with something in German – I was too weak to engage in another confrontation. When I was in my flat I realized my hands were trembling. I sat down and called a friend to tell her what had happened. I couldn’t get myself to think about anything else for some hours, it kept coming back again and again.

Waiting for the Train – Jacquelin’s Story

I was at the train station waiting for the train when a very young man sat next to me. He then told me I was pretty and touched my leg. I was shocked and felt very uncomfortable.

A Vulnerable Community Keeps It Private

written by site leader, Shawna

We recently visited Project PLASE, a transitional housing and support services facility for those who have experienced homelessness and are looking to break the cycle. Our goal was to conduct video interviews with women and LGBTQ folks about street harassment, and the unique ways that people with insufficient housing might experience it. We think there is something valuable to learn from this vulnerable community, for both the anti-street harassment movement and homeless service providers. It is imperative for us, and all social justice movements, to understand that not everyone who experiences street harassment has economical access to our website and the smart phone technology that Hollaback! uses. By going directly to the homeless population, we hope make heard and empower voices that are often silenced due to the inaccessibility of our currently largely relied-upon web technology.

We originally thought of this idea back in September, when we had a booth at Baltimore’s Project Homeless Connect. We wanted to do interviews but, as we spoke about in this video, the clients that showed up were busy taking advantage of all the essential services provided (housing/food assistance, haircuts, etc). And, though many did have stories to tell, they did not feel comfortable sharing, with strangers and on camera, such difficult personal stories on being harassed and/or assaulted. We know that hearing these stories, straight from those that experience them, can be more powerful than just written words. However, it seems we weren’t prepared for the overwhelming nature of that environment. It was obvious that the homeless community needed to take advantage of the necessary services being offered that day. Likewise they might not have wanted to revisit such painful memories in an otherwise positive environment.

It turns out, even in the familiar environment of Project PLASE, the women and LGBTQ folks who did walk by our interview room on our recent visit had little interest in sharing their story publicly. We spoke with some staff and realized we will need more than a quiet room to accomplish this video project, we need direct involvement and help. They shared interest in getting the video made, and shared some insight on how we might go about it.  Suggestions included staff and counselors sitting nearby or asking the interview questions themselves. Dealing with people they know and trust would serve to make clients feel more comfortable. Since our overall goal with Hollaback! is respect, dignity, and privacy for all, we cannot forget about the community who is most often forgotten by society, but spends so much of their time in public spaces. After all, society may forget to see the homeless, but harassment definitely does not.

If you or someone you know has ever experienced homelessness and might be interested in sharing your story, please get in touch! Bmore@iHollaback.org

He Grabbed, He Cried, I Laughed – Kayla’s story

I was getting off the subway and a guy approached me, asking, “How are you feeling?” I said “OK.” He then proceeded to grab my butt and when I got angry he said “It’s OK because I know that you are trans.” I maced him and laughed all the way home.

Street Harassment Diary – Mel’s week

I was inspired to write this account of street harassment-related events by Britni’s Diary from Hollaback Boston.  She has an insightful reflection on the effect that the mere threat of street harassment has on women and LGBTQ folks and her diary is definitely worth reading.  
Day One:
Tonight around 10pm I was out in Little Italy with a male friend of mine. As we were crossing the street, I heard a man in a car yell something incoherent.  When I looked over, he waved.  I’m not entirely sure if that was intended for me, but we were the only two people crossing the street at the time.  My friend did not even notice that this happened, but I certainly did.
I looked around those several seconds after the incident to see if there could’ve been anyone else this man was trying to talk to.  I immediately felt self-conscious and thought, “Are my shorts too short?  Do I look particularly provocative right now?”  Then, I tried to play it off because my friend didn’t notice and I didn’t feel like explaining.

Day Two:
While walking the block and a half from my house in Hampden to my job at 9:45am, I passed two male construction workers repairing a roof.  Yet again, I hear one of the men yelling out and I see him wave.  Is he waving to me?  I try to look around discreetly to see if anyone else is around.  It’s early and there are about 3 other people within 300 feet of me.  Is this man trying to get my attention?  Should I cross the street and pass by him?  I won’t look directly at him and let him know that I’ve heard him – he might take it as an invitation to keep yelling at me.
Again, I feel super self-conscious and I just want everyone to leave me alone.

Day Three:
I just read [trigger warning! sexual assault] Liz Gorman’s account of her sexual assault on July 4, 2012 at Dupont Circle on the Collective Action for Safe Space website (www.collectiveactiondc.org) , DC’s anti-street harassment campaign.  Her story is almost identical to my story of assault in Santiago, Chile and brings up serious emotions.
I was living in a good neighborhood in downtown Santiago and had spent the night out drinking and dancing with a girlfriend of mine.  We shared a cab home, dropping her off first.  It was almost 7:00am when the cab pulled up to my apartment and although I lived downtown, it was a Sunday and it seemed deserted.
From the cab to my apartment doorstep, it was about a 20 second walk.  In those 20 seconds, I saw a man on a bicycle staring at me.  I stared back sternly so he knew I had seen him.   He then rode up to me, grabbed me under my dress and sped off.  I screamed and yelled in Spanish saying, “WHAT THE FUCK?!  YOU ASSHOLE!”  No one else was around to hear me or even notice.
I wasn’t brave enough to share my story until I read Liz Gorman’s.  I wasn’t brave enough to tell the carabineros (Chilean police).  I wasn’t even brave enough to tell the Chilean family I lived with what happened to me because I was in such shock; I felt embarrassed and violated.

Day Four:
Shawna, Linda, David and I go to the St. Francis Neighborhood Center to represent Hollaback! Baltimore and do an anti-street harassment activity with middle school girls (check out the video here!).  We walk as a group from St. Francis to Druid Hill Park to throw some water balloons.  After every last balloon has popped, we start walking back.  We’re walking on the sidewalk of Druid Park Drive  and, of course, it happens again.
I hear a man in a car yell something incoherent and when I look over, he’s waving.  What is WITH all these strange men in cars waving and yelling at me and the people I’m with?!  I seemed to be the only one in our group to notice some dude yelling at us from his car and, as usual, I look around, get super self-conscious and proceed to get really angry.
I witness this just as Shawna is behind me talking to one of the 12-year old girls, “Have you ever been harassed on the street?”  “Oh yeah!” she says rolling her eyes.  Another 9-year old girl chimes in, “Uh huh!”

Day Five:
I talked to a good male friend of mine about street harassment today.
Every summer I go through this inner conflict of dressing for extreme heat (it was up to 105 degrees in Baltimore this summer, in case you didn’t know) vs. dressing to blend-the-fuck-in with everyone else.  Because I know it won’t solve my problems, I force myself to dress exactly as I want despite my concerns.
This was the first time I was so open about these insecurities with a man.  I told him that today I went grocery shopping in a white summer dress.
This is what I do when I’m anxious about being harassed: I slouch with my shoulders rolled forward, my neck lowered and leaning forward a bit all in an effort to shrink; to take up as little physical space as possible.  This makes me feel less vulnerable to leering stares and inappropriate comments, but it doesn’t actually work.  I walk looking directly ahead and focus my eyes on objects, not people.  Looking at anyone’s face could be an invitation for conversation, or harassment, so I avoid it at all costs and try to look busy.

Day Six:
I was driving on I-95 South and I passed several large trucks.  I didn’t experience any harassment (woohoo!), but was definitely hypersensitive.
I think about the family vacations I went on when I was in elementary school and how my sister and I absolutely LOVED passing huge 18-wheelers because we’d signal for them to honk their horns, then giggle excitedly when they actually did it.  How different my attitude toward trucks is today.
When a truck passes me now, I think about how vulnerable I am in my small car so low to the ground.  That truck driver can see my entire body if he wants to and I can hardly see him at all.

Conclusion:
While I do experience harassment, it’s the threat of harassment that most often causes me (and other people) anxiety and stress.  I consider myself a strong, reasonable woman and it was not easy for me to be so honest about these insecurities, but it’s normal to try to protect yourself when you don’t feel safe.  Why don’t people who experience street harassment feel safe?  Because street harassment is at the beginning of the continuum of violence; it’s a gateway crime and it can easily turn into assault or worse. The international Hollaback! movement has taught me that I’m definitely not crazy and I’m not alone.  Volunteering for Hollaback! Baltimore has given me agency and control in a situation where I feel none.  I can write about my harassment, locate it on a map of the world and even take a photo of the person making me feel unsafe and unwelcome!  Raising awareness, sharing stories and educating our communities can truly change our society into one that no longer normalizes cat calls, assault and harassment.

Things we noticed at Otakon – Lisa, Hanna & Morgan’s story

-Drunk guy fell on a group of people, who he knew were minors.
-The “Ice Cold!” water guy was giving uninvited hugs.
-Girls in bikinis were getting more uninvited hugs.
-A big guy walking by called out “Comic Sluts”

This post is part of a slew of stories we gathered at Otakon, held this past weekend at the Baltimore Convention Center. We will share a story a day, all leading up to our video premiere of interviews and pictures taken with attendees. Thanks again everyone for sharing!

A Healthy Expression of Street-Harasser-Frustration!

The latest mental disorder SHF (or Street Harasser Frustration) has few remedies. The cure is less street harassment in the world. Until scientists come up with the eradication cure, women, girls, and lgbtq folks are forced to administer their own treatments. Here is one such treatment, courtesy of the girls from St. Francis Community Center:

Stuff People Say to Teen Girls

Yeah, girls. Not women. Girls. Girls as young as 7 have submitted stories to Hollaback! Now, we could wallow in sad facts like that, but we’d rather get out there and do something about it. Lucky for us, Hollaback! Philly feels the same way. They made this honest, funny and yeah, sad video about the things people say to young girls. Sure, this meme came and went but the message that street harassment is detrimental to the well being of over half the world still needs to be heard. So, enjoy:

Interview: The Artists Behind FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture

By Shawna Potter

Rebecca Nagle and Hannah Brancato are organizers, artists, activists and educators working in Baltimore, MD. Hannah Brancato began working to end violence against women when she created an art advocacy program based in a domestic violence shelter. She received her MFA in Community Art at the Maryland Institute College of Art (MICA), a program focused on art as a means to create social justice; and is currently an adjunct professor in MICA’s Fiber Department and Art History Department. Rebecca Nagle is an internationally exhibited and collected artist with works in the New Museum, NY and Ssamzie Art Warehouse, South Korea. Nagle organizes Baltimore’s four-day international radical Transmodern Arts Festival and its queer cabaret the Charm City Kitty Club.

I had a chance to sit down with them at Rebecca’s art studio, located in Station North Arts District.

I had a blast at your launch party for YES! Consent Is Sexy and I was hoping to share more information with all of HOLLA-World. Can you tell us more about the history of FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture?

HANNAH: It started out as an exhibition we curated at the Current Gallery in the fall of 2010 There was a huge crowd and a lot of conversation and we realized it was really important and we should do it again. So, we’re currently formulating a proposal to have the show tour several different colleges, some of them falling onto the top 10 party schools according to Playboy. Our rationale behind that is that the kind of dialogue that happened around FORCE would be really useful in the college setting, where a lot of date rape is happening.

REBECCA: In addition to our effort to upset and challenge the culture of rape, we’re also working to promote a counter culture of consent via a new underwear line called YES! Consent Is Sexy. It’s that extra reminder to check in with people with you’re in the heat of the moment.

You screened the underwear yourselves, choosing really bright, even fun, colors. Why is that?

REBECCA: We’re riffing off of Victoria’s Secret PINK line, targeted specifically towards high school and college age girls. This fall they came out underwear with these flirty statements like “unwrap me” or “jealous”, but a few of them struck a chord with us because we felt they reinforced this idea that “no” means “yes”. One of them says “NO” in big letters, and underneath in small letters it says, “peeking”. Another says, “STOP staring” and the other that is really disturbing is “Give a little, get a lot”. So it is this young, liberated sexuality, but it is reinforcing these ideas that “No” and “Stop” are not ways for young women to set boundaries, but are ways for them to flirt, and that is not OK.

Your underwear has statements like “Yes”, “No, “Maybe” and “Ask First”, which your website says helps to “celebrate our belief that good communication creates good sex”, but some might ask: is it too late to emphasize communication when the pants are already off?

REBECCA: No! (laughs) I feel like that is the most important time to emphasize communication. I think that the whole consent conversation isn’t just whether or not you want someone in your bed. Sex is so complicated and varied, as are people’s personal boundaries, and a lot of unwanted sexual experiences come from assumptions. Someone assuming that because you’ve given the green light for this, you’ve given them the green light for this, that, and the other. I think our culture has this idea that rape is a very clear situation of someone physically overpowering someone else. The reality of a lot of sexual violence and coercion, the way that people are actually experiencing it, is a lot more confusing. I think the only way to combat that holistically is to promote an alternative, to promote consent and communication.

What about the times when gaining consent is not a priority, when there is a clear-cut perpetrator and victim?

HANNAH: We realize that rape is used as a weapon of war and that it can be perpetrated by strangers, and that there are a lot of issues besides this one part we are tackling. We are fully aware of that. But this is one of the ways in which a lot of people are experiencing rape and it is one of the ways that we feel that we can do something about it. We feel that we can actually change some of those perceptions. If this exhibition is successful, we can start to create some of those connections and solidarity with those people who are working towards ending gender-based violence at all levels. We know this is not the only way rape is happening, but it is one of the ways that rape is not being recognized for what it is, and that is the biggest issue. (more…)

The Empowered “Victim” No One Talks About

Or, “My Face Is In Cosmo!?”

Have you seen the latest Cosmo? I don’t assume that our supporters are regular Cosmo readers, but sometimes you find yourself in the doctor’s office with nothing else to look at. I would not say that I fall into their demographic (no matter how much they would disagree). Sure, I’m a 29 year old white cis-gendered woman, but I’m below the poverty line (and therefore I avoid caring about fashion and other costly vices), I already communicate well with my partner of 6 years (we value honesty, trust and a GGG lifestyle NOT focused solely on his pleasure, but our pleasure) and I prefer a realistic view of beauty (a little more nature, a little less Photoshop).

But, like most of their readers, I have experienced street harassment. When they sent out a request to the Hollaback! network in hopes of learning more about street harassment, I volunteered to tell my story. Here is what they report on page 182 of the March 2012 issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine:

… Adds Dr. Stone: “If you were brought up to feel confident and capable, being groped – and then unable to take action against the offender, is an unsettling, disempowering feeling.”  That sense of powerlessness continues to haunt Shawna Potter, 29. While she was walking down a bustling, well-lit NYC street one night with a male friend, a 20something guy going the opposite way closed in on her, grabbed her butt and have it a squeeze and then sauntered off. “My friend suggested I forget all about it, but I couldn’t,” she recalls. “For a long time, it made me feel like a target or an object, and I still feel this weird passivity and weakness when I’m on the street or in a public place. I’ll walk past a group of men I don’t know and worry, Which one of these jerks is going to the the next one to grope me?

So, that sounds really sad, right? Seeing it in print I wondered, Am I that pathetic? Friends have seen the quote next to my picture and asked “Wait, really? You don’t strike me as someone who needs any more confidence.” That’s what I thought! Only child, front person for a co-ed feminist punk band, all around loud mouth: is it all an act? No. Being afraid of strangers instead of greeting them with a smile is an act. Crossing the street when I don’t have to is an act. Self-policing my style of dress just to avoid leering, comments and groping is an act. I believe in the good in people, but because I am female-bodied I am forced to put up with the gender-based violence our society permits. Reading the Cosmo article I threw my hands back into the air, giving up all over again. Then I remembered MY story, in MY words, that I originally submitted to the author:

For my friend, the moment of danger had passed; the guys kept walking. I doubt he ever thinks of that moment. But for me, I think of that time I was groped on the street in NYC every time I walk past a group of men I don’t know, especially when they are laughing. I have to remind myself that there were no magic four-letter words that could have changed the situation, and that my friend and those two other strangers were in the wrong for not taking the incident seriously enough to even ask if I wanted to press charges. One time of being touched inappropriately by a stranger on the street is one time too many. Sure, maybe one time of being stared at or hearing “Nice Ass” from a stranger on the street wouldn’t be a big deal, but it happens consistently when I’m in public and always makes me wonder, “Which one of these mouthy jerks is going to the next one to grope me?” That is no way for anyone to live, but it is a daily reality for women around the world. This issue resonated with me so deeply that I was compelled to start my own chapter of Hollaback!

Oh yeah, I found a way to empower myself in this world. I decided to get up and do something about street harassment. I decided to help others while helping myself. I’m glad Cosmo decided to take on this under-reported human rights issue, and that our bestie Stop Street Harassment got in some good tidbits, but I guess I take it for granted that people already know that it can and does psychologically effect victims (male/female/gender-queer) in a negative way. I thought we needed to hear more about all the things we can do in the moment for ourselves and for the world (HOLLA!).  If Cosmo has to educate its’ own readers that it is OK to feel embarrassed/shocked/degraded/vulnerable/angry/depressed/annoyed after being groped, then Hollaback! has some more work to do. Luckily, we’re up for it. Watch out street harassers, we’re after you, and Cosmo has our back.