“You’re lovely, but…” – RP’s story

While this isn’t the usual catcall or stalking crap, it still find myself reluctant to leave my home alone (not that I have much choice) and feel unsafe at the moment walking outside because I don’t want to deal with this again. I figured that warranted share.

I’m leaving a building and an older woman coming up the street kind of gets in my way and starts talking at me. At first I couldn’t understand her but I pick out, “You know, you’re a beautiful girl, but you know, you should try calorie counting,” and proceeds to point out parts of my body she deems unsightly (interspersed with more fake-nice “you’re lovely, but…”). She also for some reason tries to guess at my ethnicity and perhaps thought I was a European immigrant–which perhaps also made her feel it was more “okay” to do this?

The whole time she talks almost non-stop, making it hard to interject, and trying to get in my face so it is hard for me to walk away, which even if she is not saying threatening things makes me feel very unsafe. I manage to slide around her in the end and say, “Why don’t you mind your own business?” Then I walk away.

She shouts back, fake-nice tone in her voice gone, “Why don’t you lose some weight?”

(Of course the thing that makes me get frustrated and irrationally want to beat myself up is I’ve BEEN losing weight but of course trying to tell a stranger that would be pointless.)

Maybe I should have argued further but was largely at a loss for words and felt safer putting distance between us.